Giving: It's Not just a Gift

Do you know anybody who has ever become poor by giving? I don’t. Honestly, life has showed me once again that you truly can’t become poor by giving, as what you put out there always comes back.

It’s so easy to use the lack of money or time as a reason to not give, or give less, but when I tell you…. Life is so much more fun when you decide to give. Recently, I was reminded of this once again, which has become the inspiration of this month’s blog.

About two weeks ago, it was my roommate’s last day of work. She had worked her butt off every day for months and I wanted to celebrate this moment with her. I’m currently financially challenged, as so many new and extra expenses are hitting me these months that I almost talked myself out of this. I was debating in my head if I should go out of my way to get her something or if I should just let the moment be what it would be.

I’ve learned over time that my Love Language is thoughtfulness, and I know my roommate is the same. A simple text message would therefore still be appreciated, but a true gift and a card would be the cherry on the pie. So, I decided to just do it, as I knew she would truly appreciate it. Plus, I love spreading love, especially to the people I love.

As much as I’m currently turning around every coin in my life, I went out of my way to go to Sephora and buy her a new face serum I knew she would love. Not to sound dramatic, but I truly debated doing this the entire morning. But the moment I walked into Sephora, I knew I had made the right choice. When I was about to pay for her gift, the lady asked me to join the mailing list. (I normally say no, but I was in a good mood so I said yes.) Because I joined, the lady said I was able to pick some new products, and, on top of this, she said: “Oh, I see it was recently your birthday, so, to add on the first gifts of products, you can also still pick new products from this shelf for your birthday!”

All of these products I now suddenly received were almost worth more than the product I’d bought for my roommate. I started laughing and told the lady that the universe truly is so funny. I explained to her how I had been debating whether to go out of my way to get this for my roommate and how I felt straight away rewarded as I instantly got so much in return. The lady loved this and added even more samplers to my bag, as she said now that we were onto it, we may as well continue the gift of giving! 

I went home feeling so amazed by the fact that you truly never lose when you’re giving, no matter if it’s your money, your time, or your energy. The feeling you receive when giving straight away uplifts your spirit and fills it with so much joy. It truly is in giving that we receive, and through giving, you’re able to receive more than you already have. ’Cause, believe me, I didn’t think I needed or wanted any of these products, but I currently use them on the daily, and the happiness these products add to my life is way more than I knew I was able to feel from material products. It’s truly pure joy, as the products are not just great, but also, every time I use them I feel reminded of the joy of giving.

On top of it, my roommate was so full of appreciation for my thoughtful gift that seeing her happy lifted my spirit even more. I told this story to almost everybody I saw that week, as it felt like such a full circle moment to me.

A lot of times we give, and, yes, I believe that it always comes back to us, but not always from the same corner or as instant as this moment. This experience inspired me to never doubt my gut impulse of wanting to give and to continue to always do this whenever a ‘thought of giving’ pops up in my mind. It’s truly ALWAYS worth it and can add so much more joy to your life. I realized real generosity toward the future lies in giving it all in the present moment.

Shortly after this experience, I learned another rule of thumb when giving… I told this story to many people, and I’ve noticed we humans do this often. We do something nice, and, without even thinking about it, we share and re-tell our niceness with others. We do this maybe to inspire, to be seen, to be validated, seeking approval or maybe because we feel the need to show the world that we’re a good person. Even though many of us frequently do nice things for others, we oftentimes mention our acts of kindness to someone straight after (which is closer to ego-orientated behavior than behavior simply coming from your soul). 

Besides the fact that kindness and thoughtfulness is wonderful and truly deserves to be spread around the globe, I realized later in the week that there’s something even more magical… Whenever you decide to do something thoughtful but don’t mention it to anyone, ever, the gift of giving truly fulfills even deeper.

Later that week, I did something nice and thoughtful for somebody else.  (And, yes, I share it now here as I want to prove my point, but I didn’t tell anybody about this earlier, which made me aware of this magic.)

I bought a masterclass ticket for a dance class for myself earlier that week, but later on realized I couldn’t make it to this class anymore. These tickets are not refundable, so I had three options: sell it, lose it or give it away.

There’s a girl I see in class once in a while. Even though we don’t even really know each other that well, we always acknowledge each other. A few days before the masterclass was supposed to be, I bumped into this girl again and asked her if she wanted to have my ticket for free. Something told me to ask her (instead of even asking my friends). I said, “I know how much happiness this class would give me and I wanted to pass that happiness forward to somebody else rather than nobody receiving or using it at all.” The girl was super happy and grateful, and I walked away very content too.

I didn’t share my act of kindness with anybody, as I didn’t feel the need to, and I realized that instead of diluting the positive feelings by telling others about my act of kindness, I was now keeping it to myself, which meant I was retaining ALL the POSITIVE FEELINGS which were a ripple effect of my act of kindness.

As much as I believe and act on the fact that you truly should give for the sake of giving and not to receive something in return, this situation reminded me that when you don’t mention your kindness to others, your rewards are truly even bigger, as now your reward is this big, warm, satisfying feeling that comes from your act of giving. This feeling uplifts your spirit and makes you feel satisfied from inside out.

This is why I would love to challenge you… The next time you decide to do something nice for somebody, keep it to yourself and soak up all the abundant joy of giving. There’s truly something magical which happens to the human spirit when you give from your spirit instead of your need for excessive attention, which comes from your ego. As much as I intentionally gave the gift to my roommate from my soul, retelling the experience turned the gift of giving a little bit into an ego thing, while the second gift of giving away my ticket to basically a stranger without sharing it with anybody truly was and remained a soul’s experience for myself and only myself – so much pureness and love to and from my soul.

It really is not about how much you give but about how much love you put into giving. Remember to always give without remembering (unless you want to write a blog about it to inspire more people, hihi) and always receive without forgetting. I believe giving is not just a gift, as it truly gives your soul a lift. Everybody can give without loving, but I strongly believe that you can’t love without giving. So let’s continue to love, and the unconditional gift of giving will automatically follow, as long as we’re giving from our true heart.